It's Beginning to Look a lot Like....

So many Christmas' of past have been challenging. In looking back there is no way to weigh which are worse in some kind of top 10 list. But honestly like many people I want this time of year to be one of celebration, cheer, and... generosity. This year we have had so much occur and in just the last couple months it has been things like termites, our porch falling apart (and needing to be demolished), a skunk in our wall (spraying just about every night), and I can go on - and on. All of that which costs money to be taken care of in a year where I have felt fluctuation in my business that I am still working on and on and on.
And I read things about gratitude, positive thinking, and all that jazz. Stuff I really do believe in. But sometimes you also get tired of the gratitude, positive thinking, and all that jazz... and cry. It is December 18, we have no tree, no decorations up. And every year my husband gets so excited over the oodles and oodles of gifts I have wrapped for him under the tree. But this year so far there are just a few small things of which I have bought for him mainly from doing extra side jobs like online surveys. It pains me more than I can put into words to disappoint him. Tomorrow I shop for Hennessy's Christmas gifts thanks to PetCo and the $40 in Pal Rewards they were so kind to gift to me due to a shipping and technical mix up on her last food order.
I want things a certain way.
And just don't see them being that way this year.
My sister, aunt, and several friends have mailed gifts to Jim, Hennessy, and me already - and this year I do not know when I will be able to gift them in the way I would like. Even mailing cards to clients, friends, and family seems unlikely this year.
I want to be the powerful all mighty positive grateful force to be reconded with, but at the moment of writing this blog tonight I would not be honest with any of you if I preached that stuff when I am not feeling it.
Less than a week til Christmas.
We'll see what the week brings.
In the meantime, I want to end this wallowing post on a few notes of gratitude.
I am grateful to have the bestest smartest cutest dog in the entire universe as my dogauter.
I am grateful for a husband who gets me and still loves me. He is the greatest husband in the entire universe.
I am grateful for Starbucks hot chocolates (made vegan with almondmilk of course).
I am grateful for Yogaglo.
I am grateful for Young Living Essential Oils.
I am grateful for LA Kings hockey (and tonight's win).
Happy New Moon!